Sometimes I dream about losing mom, then wake up and find myself in streaming tears. I have no idea why even dreams of mine have to this pessimistic.
I don't live with mom now, she seems to have grown slightly older every time I see her. Is it because of the wrinkles? or is it the grey hair? perhaps a little more sadness in the eyes? Generally speaking, my mom's considered an optimistic person. It's just me who's so convinced that she's living an unhappy life. Am I crazy?
I wish that day will not come so soon. Can't bare to think of a life without having mom around. I know the guilt will eat me alive, it will probably hurt 1,000 times more than now, having to see mom working her butts off everyday in her late 40s. Women at her age should be happily retired. Hanging with loving family at home, doing nothing but play mahjong all day.
Sadly, none of these things have happened to her.
I know there will be a day I finally stop feeling guilty and sorry. It will be the day I'm finally done with further studies, have a job with better pay and be able to take good care of her.
Please don't take her away until I fulfill them.
